OZ ATV :: The Australian ATV Forum

[Dino]

I'm 50 something.
And I have actually had a few years of happiness.
It was called not being in a relationship.

Yeah. After 20 years of all the wrong reasons.....
She finally buggered off, while I was in hospital.
Took her stuff. Left the mess.
Cleared the accounts out and left the debt.
Took her dog, and left me mine.
It's over. And I am relieved.
Not heart broken.

Gunna miss her dog but.

So I'm heading quickly to being happy. Again.
There is people I actually care for, but that won't happen.
Sigh.
The model I like, don't like me back.
A few quad owners here can relate to that.

And a bit of companion ship is healthy though.
Even boundary riders and truckies drop in to see what the other humans are up to.
I am a social creature.
I just prefer to live on my own, but not exist that way.

But the pub and club scene has changed since 20 years ago.
And a few well meaning friends suggested internet dating.

But try being dyslexic and internet dating if you want brain farts!
Oh man!

All those abbreviations and new terms!

"Fun with food."
Far out, if you don't know ask!
But not here!
Suffice to say, erotic is using the feather.
But it's more than kinky when a entire chicken appears!

The dyslexia and being on line.....
Sheila tells me she's got a GSOH.
WTF is a GSOH? Oh. It's a Good Sense of Humour.....
SO I tell her I'm looking forward to seeing her GASH in action.........DOH!

Holy "profanity removed" hahahaha. Good thing it was on line.
Physical harm was a real possibility!
I guess dyslexia can be amusing.

But....It's a bugger of an affliction I tell you!
Words come out mixed up. Like latin, or like Yoda from Starwars.
The true meaning is lost in laughter and horror.

You like horror?
Try being dyslexic and filling out forms.
Tick the box is not as easy as many "normal people" find for us.
And a lot of the forms are tick the box....

Like this:

So it's man looking for woman, or, man looking for man.
etc.....
Tick the box.
NEK MINUTE...
I'm getting hit on, big time.
And not by what I was expecting.
Surprise, surprise, surprise!
And it was Gomer Piles ilk that had me in their sights.
It's DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
I am "straight". Really!

Or:
(And true too) I'm on line and get a message. We start cyber small talk.....
SHE tells me she is 5'6" tall and voluptuous, and to meet her at the bowls club. Sends me a head shot.
Keen for company on a rainy arvo, she says.
So I'm like, lets see what happens.
Sigh, we DO have something in common....
She's another dyslexia sufferer.

She is 6'5" tall! I "profanity removed" you not.
Just ticked the wrong box, that's all.

Voluptuous? No box to tick that shape.
Looks like, well, a porta loo with a head shot on the top.....
DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

Bloody internet dating......
The only form of dating where both you, and your laptop, can get a virus.......

The first time I was single, also called in between mistakes, I got rolled by a amorous pick pocket.
Yeah. I know. desperate times.....
And I was too after 3 weeks on a deep hole rig.
In the barren inland.
I guess the hands on thieves still exist......
Gimme time, one will find me.

But technology nowadays.....
It allows cyber pick pockets from the other side of the world to have a go. Serious.

Fair Dinkum.
The sheer number of scammers, spinners and please pay with your credit card "securely" is scary.

And stalkers! Oh dear.....
It's been edamacational......

And I've had three dates so far.
3 dates! Woo Hoo!

But two were impostors.
Old pics, different ages and NOT WHAT they said.
I get that.

And the other one was real though.
Had issues, though.
Which only surfaced because a friend in need rang while we having coffee.
My fault though, I answered my phone ringing....
Went off like a bent sky rocket!
Round and round, running and screaming at the art gallery.
Lol.
She looked so peaceful going away in the ambulance....
All wrapped up. In a long sleeved jacket and a muzzle on.

But 3 out of 2376 computer generated matches?
In only three weeks? Fair go.
Well, I did open a lot of accounts.

The rest were a match all right.
Just needed the petrol.

And truth is the more over a certain age you are...
The more desperate and picky "they" are at the same time.

I am 50 plus, permanently single.
Unless I make another mistake.
Lol. Always my fault.....

Seriously though, I'm in good nick, upstairs and down....
Yeah, I've got baggage, but it's stowed and sorted.
Did that while I was cleaning and packing the house.
It goes on the market soon.
I am really looking forward to my 30 year old 16 ft caravan.

And, you'd reckon that:
"Poor and seeking females a similar age for casual get togethers. NSA.".......
(NSA stands for no strings attatched.)

.......WOULD be pretty bloody clear, hey!

HTF does a 34 year old, wanting kids, a financially secure future and a person without baggage be a match? Sorted or otherwise?
Let alone a "working girl" trying to spin this member onto other sites.
And we won't mention overseas matches at all...
So, HOW does no strings equals a whole ball of yarn.........

And if you wonder, why I even bother? hahaha!

That good friend, who told me I'd meet lots of people.
And it works.
Well, it must bloody work OK.
The emails....
I been getting more than the Prime Ministers Office!

But my well meaning friend, is still single and looking for "The One".
After 10 years? Really? FFS!

"The One"......
Must be a bloody unicorn.
Or a Yowie.
Or a real economic state of affairs.
Must be hard to find "the one."


I am a helpful bugger.
And I'd like to help all in their search for the one.
Because I hate being sought as the one, when I am not.

Could "The One" please step forward?

You are wanted!
By a lot of people.
This is requested by the way, from "Not The One".

That's right. I am not the one!
_________________
Remember. We elect politicians, but we have to deal with bureaucracy.
Notice that crazy in the bureaucrats.

[ab3787]

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[hojoos]

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